Microsoft has finally lifted the gate on Service Pack 3 for Windows XP. Go get it.

1. If you hiccup and fart at the same time, your stomach will turn inside out.
2. If you combine turkey, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce and one green vegetable, you get the chemicals which make LSD, which is why Thanksgiving always gets so freaky and everyone gets into fights.
3. AIDS came from people French-kissing their dogs.
4. The secret ingredient in Taco Bell 7-Layer Burritos is horse blood.
5. Simon Cowell is actually from Oklahoma, and just talks that way on TV.
6. If you fold a dollar bill a certain way, you can see Betsy Ross naked.
7. Daddy Longlegs’ legs taste like spearmint.
8. The inventor of Elmer’s Glue was born with horns, and that’s his picture on the bottle.
9. Everyone who has ever beat Ninja Gaiden Black has died the next day.
10. ABBA stands for “All-father Baal Beats Angels”.
11. Yu-Gi-Oh! was supposed to have a new season but the FBI stepped in and shut it down under the Patriot Act, and no one knows why.
12. The phrase “Every Good Boy Deserves Fudge” is propaganda created and promoted by the American Fudge Council.
13. Girls don’t wear underwear in Canada.
14. The film rating XXX is pronounced “kccchhggh”.
15. If you have ever touched a baked potato without gloves, the government has your fingerprints on file.
16. There is cocaine at the center of Polly-O String Cheese.
17. If you play Paper Mario for exactly fifty-five hours, fifty-five minutes, and fifty-five seconds, you’ll get a cheat code that lets you play as Lara Croft…naked.

[woot]

Hardy Heron was dropped today, only a month after the beta was released.  Maybe Microsoft could take something from that….  What’s the best part of the upgrade you ask?  Wubi support.  It allows Ubuntu to live on the NTFS drive (the same one that Windows uses) and also makes it easy to install/reinstall without touching the Windows install.  Go Ubuntu.  I root for you.

Have an overwhelming need for 5lbs. of Silly Putty? Well it’s your lucky day. You can even choose your color. Original ($77), Blue ($77), or the color-changing Purple/Pink ($153) and Orange/Yellow ($153).

Bring the course to you with the Full Swing Golf Simulator ($TBD). Like the simulators found in golf stores across the country, the Full Swing system allows you to use real clubs and balls to play over 50 real-life courses, including Oakland Hills and St. Andrews, providing valuable practice and unlimited drunken fun. Two 360-degree curtains of infrared beams provide exact and immediate ball-flight statistics, so you can be sure that you really would have hit your ball into the Pacific on the 18th at Pebble Beach.

[Uncrate]

Buy.com is offering the Gateway GM5664 TV Desktop Computer for $800. This sucker is loaded.

• Quad-Core 9600
• 3GB of DDR2 RAM
• 1 TB SATA drive (2×500gb)
• Bluray / DVD±RW / CD-RW
• ATI Radeon HD 2400XT Graphics
• 15-in-1 media reader
• Digital TV Tuner
• Vista Home Premium

Yeah, its a refurb but I believe the deal trumps.

For current newegg newsletter subscribers only, newegg.com offers the Jabra BT2040 Wireless Bluetooth Headset for $13.99. Coupon code “EMCAECEAE” drops it to $3.99. With free shipping.

This apparenty uses your automobile’s exhaust fumes to jack up your car. It has enough power to lift a 3-ton vehicle up 18 inches for up to 45 minutes. And its only $119.99. I don’t know about you but I might have a bit of a trust issue with this gadget.